When is over over

We all try to stay together for the kids for the materialistic things.  I truly deeply loved my ex husband I wasn’t ready for it the I’m not in love with you anymore line.. Looking back now it’s unlikely he ever was.. falling pregnant unplanned then before u know it married, this was not the life he wanted I know that now. 

Not totally blameless as a typical wife in the suburbs who at some point in time cared nothing of her appearance, I did always work full-time still no excuse, self esteem in the toilet, overweight, externally very unattractive as the marriage continued on its decent of demise I became internally unattractive as well, rude, a bitch all the time and I never gave my husband what every husband partner needs intamacy and yes u got it sex.. men have to have i, it’s apart of who they are and I can 99% assure you of your not giving it to your man he is getting it from somewhere and how I know this will come later.  No matter how big or small you are every woman is sexy in her own way it comes from the inside not sexy lingerie and heels.  I found this way after my marriage was over but it will never benefit me as my life became numb when he took my 3 little ducks away.