Memories I will hold forever

When I had my second child Zachary the age gap between him and my first son Shayne was 5 years, having had 5 miscarriages in between.. Shayne asked “mummy when u  coming home Imsaid in a day or so, he replied he can’t come home with you, u can leave him here, meaning the hospital..  Asit would turn out they were pretty close.

The pic below was a fundraiser for my eldest son school, why isn’t there father in he family portrait, apparently it was too beneath him to participate.


My dad who sadly passed away just adored his grandchildren, this is with his first, how he loved all of them.

The Picture below speaks for itself… what the hell did he do to them to take this away


5 hours of sheer pain, but it was the only way I could carry them with me forever.

My Daughters Birth on 27th October 1999

2 months before she was due I went in for an ultrasound, something was wrong I could tell just by looking at the persons face doing the ultrasound, two more people entered the room there was silence.  I was then told that my baby had to be delivered urgently or They may loose the baby or worse both of us.  They explained that the placenta had leaked outside of the womb via scar tissue from 2 previous caesarean births, and it was invading my organs bladder, kidneys, liver.

The medical terminology is PLACENTA ECRETA rarely seen in Modern countries, more cases reported in 3rd world.

We had just moved to Melbourne and I was at Monash Hospital, word had got out about my case and We are both alive today because the best surgeons, Professors put there hand up to deliver my baby.  Surgery went for about 8 hours, I was under general anesthesia the actual delivery of my beautiful baby girl took around 45 minutes, but I had complications,  I bled out and Doctors told my dad I was a fighter cause we nearly lost her.  I had to have a hysterectomy, stints inserted, 3 blood transfusions.  And as in intensive care for some time.  She was little, and she always called me Mumma.  

11 years later the narcissistic bastard rips her from me and I wish I had of died that day, just like I wish everyday since she’s been gone.