It’s been weeks and I can’t find the light, this being my internal light. I’m worried for me now but not scared cause I have always known how it would end especially when it got down to having zero family, zero friends. For 10 years I’ve got myself through this but I’m getting older, my 3 little ducks are getting older they now fill the shoes of two men and a woman I see them grow and change through social media it pains me to read of certain family celebrations and or milestones I can’t mentally and now physically cope with the pain, hurt, anger, imagine spending 10 years trying to understand knowing you never will.
I have to go into someone else’s light I know this is where I will find peace, I don’t need to say it my children they know how much I love them and miss them.